Beware of Socially Acceptable Distractions

A Socially Acceptable Distraction (S.A.D.) is excessive indulgence on something at the periphery that starts hurting what’s core to you. It goes undetected for a long time because moderate level indulgence on the very same thing is socially acceptable.

A S.A.D could also be something that you are engaged in, generally accepted by society, benign at first and for whatever reason takes over a large part of your disposable time and beyond to such a level that it starts hurting other parts of your life.

This is a classic case that could be called as a poster child of what’s called “Boiling Frog Syndrome” — The premise is that if a frog is put suddenly into boiling water, it will jump out, but if the frog is put in tepid water which is then brought to a boil slowly, it will not perceive the danger and will be cooked to death. The story is often used as a metaphor for the inability or unwillingness of people to react to or be aware of sinister threats that arise gradually rather than suddenly.

Here is one example in detail: Being a fan of one or more sports teams.

It’s not wrong to be a fan of one or half-a-dozen sports teams. It makes watching games more fun. You will also belong to a few tribes automatically — so new relationships get formed. But, then if you take it to an extreme, it takes over your life — you start checking scores, statistics, and following news about team history, latest happenings, and whatnot.

You become a “hardcore fan” giving yourself a license to spend an insane amount of time almost becoming an “armchair advisor” to the team via social media even though nobody is listening.

You discuss these with other “hardcore fans” and try to stay ahead of others in the tribe by consuming even more content. You become the “go-to expert” in your tribe. You enjoy that kind of identity. Hell breaks loose in one or more parts of your life because of this, but you may not see it until it’s too late.

From the outside world, it’s not even a problem, fully and whole-heartedly accepted by society.

Here are a few more examples (just the highlights) for Socially Acceptable Distractions:

• Hobbies that have turned into horror stories.
• “Try it once for fun” adventures, turning into addictions.
• “Friday night get together” friendly card game turned into a gambling obsession.
• The volunteer work that first went out of hand and then out of control.
• A series that started with a “binge-watching” night has now turned into an obsession.
• Multiplayer video games that are sophisticated gamification engines to hook you for a long time.

Take any “Socially Accepted Distraction” that you or someone you know is dealing with. It didn’t start off that way, but slowly got into a troubled state over a period of time. The outside world has no idea how much of your mental capacity, attention and energy are allotted to this. The real problem comes when you start identifying yourself (for example, when you start using terms like “it’s our team”) to justify spending far too much time making someone else richer along the way.

The gravitational pull of such an identity and the feeling of belonging to a community makes it hard to extract yourself out of it so you can find “disposable time” to “learn and grow.”

Now that you are aware of the enormous power of a “socially accepted distraction” take a few minutes to reflect your situation today. Once you are aware that something you are engaging in is a “socially accepted distraction” it loses most of its power. With a bit of help from a mentor or a caring friend, you can break the shackles of any S.A.D. In your life.

In the 3 minutes you spent on reading this article, hope you experienced at least one aha-moment. If you take one action to get free from a socially acceptable distraction, you will see more time available to you right moment going forward.

So, my request to you is to share this article with at least one person who might have been affected by one or more socially acceptable distractions. If you help them to get back some time to care for what really matters to them, you would have given the most valuable gift ever — TIME.

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